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I think I need Prozac...

Apr. 30th, 2008 | 04:32 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated

Man.
I just can't seem to get along with myself.
I don't know if it's the drinking that does it to me...or it's just how I am...
Either way I am uncomfortable with it.

I can't seem to get it out of my brain, that I hate myself......
I thought I was doing great.
I felt good.
I was happy.
I was confident and smart.
But then.
I get shot down.

Once again.


And all of those wonderful feelings about myself diminish, and I have to start all over again.
I hate starting over.
It's hard for me to get that feeling back once it's gone.



I think I need Prozac....




( And I swear to God if my Mother asks me about job hunting when she walks in the door I am going to freak out )

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Assholes. Wait am I the asshole?

Mar. 6th, 2008 | 04:58 pm
mood: blankDead

Once upon a time, Christina was a really awesome person whom people were drawn to.
She had friends everywhere and people actually liked to hang out with her.
Then all of a sudden something happened, and in an instant she was insignificant and unimportant.
No one wanted to be her friend, and nobody really liked hanging out with her anymore.
So, she sat in her room and smoked pot all day long and wallowed in her own self pity for the rest of her meaningless life.
The End.



I really don't understand what happened to my life and all my wonderful friends.....
If someone could seriously fill me in, I would be much obliged.

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Don't be shy with me, please.

Mar. 5th, 2008 | 07:22 pm
mood: anxiousanxious
music: A Perfect Circle~Passive

Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Passive aggressive bullshit.

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Guess what!

Jan. 31st, 2008 | 09:35 pm
location: Flushing.....home
mood: ecstaticecstatic
music: Trick Daddy~I'm a Thug

I'M HOME.

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I don't care what you think anymore.

Jan. 30th, 2008 | 01:05 pm
mood: amusedamused
music: Modest Mouse~Float On

I don't care what you think anymore.
Sorry if you think I'm a liar.

I hate men boys.
They really know how to make me feel like the bad guy.

So what if I want to move downstate?
I'm sorry I said otherwise, but I'm a very fickle person.
You had a gun to your head, what was I supposed to say?
Can you blame me?
Of course you can.

This is my life, not "ours."
And I want my life surrounded by the people that matter to me the most.
Of course you don't understand.
Of course you think I'm a bitch.
Of course you think it has only to with partying and the lies you think my family's feeding me.
I've heard all that before from a boy who is much like you.
'Cause you don't understand me like you think you do.

Of course it's going to hurt.
It's not supposed to feel good.
Of course this ruins the plans you created in your head so long ago.
Of course this sets me back.
But it's all worth it in the end.
You'll see.
You'll be OK.
You'll forget.
You'll move on.
You'll learn.

That's life.
You have no choice but to deal with it.


Of course I thought it would work.
But what do I know?
Of course you thought it would work.
But what do you know?


Of course I am sorry for hurting you.
But I'm not sorry for my decision.
Of course you don't think I'm sorry.
I'm just a lying bitch in your eyes.



My brother told me, "...the most important thing in an individual's life is the individual. Don't get me wrong other things matter immense amounts. Just remember number one should always be number one."

And he's 100% correct.
Of course that means nothing to you.
Of course you think it's just a plot of his to get me to come home.
Of course it's NOT!

I make my own decisions.



My father comes tomorrow.

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I want to go home...but I can't.

Jan. 27th, 2008 | 01:38 pm
mood: depresseddepressed

You got a reaction
You got a reaction didn't, you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Something better than nothing
Something better than nothing, it's giving up
We all need to do something
Try keep the truth from showing up

How dare you
How old are you now, anyway?
How dare you
How old are you now, anyway?

You're given a flower
But I guess there's just no pleasing you
Your lips tastes sour
But you think that it's just me teasing you

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Get behind me
Get behind me now, anyway
Get behind me
Get behind me now, anyway

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

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I hate people.

Jan. 21st, 2008 | 05:24 pm
mood: bitchybitchy

Stupid fucking so-called mechanic.
If I could I would burn his house down.
Why do people like to fuck with other people?

This stupid ass mechanic has been fuckin' me over on this transmission for way too long now.
Time to get the law involved....or a Flame thrower.
Whichever happens first.

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Mmm....cereal.

Jan. 20th, 2008 | 11:29 am
location: Gay-ass Gaylord
mood: hungryhungry

Yeah.
So, uh...

Man I am so not used to this LiveJournal thing anymore.
Or writing in general.
Feels weird....but good.
Writing something that will only make sense to you that everyone is reading is good...I think.
Eh, fuck it.
I say it's a good thing, so it's god damn good thing...dammit.


Well I'm saying goodbye to Gay-ass Gaylord, Michigan.
Man, Fuck this place.
Sure it's absolutely beautiful, and I've never seen a community thrive on the winter like they do here which is fascinating....but the people up here are definitely a horse of a different color.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I love meeting all sorts of different people...but some of these people are fucking insane..Well I shouldn't go that far, but they aren't all there I guess.
But I'm sure I appear the same to them.
Which is awesome.
Different points of view are awesome.
Especially when those different points of view become a debate or plain old conversation.
Mmm....debate.

Anyway....Flushing here I come.
I could never stand the town when I lived there, but now that I moved from it and all the people, I really genuinely miss that suburban town and it's inhabitants.
And I really genuinely miss that ghetto ass town...Flint...and maybe not all of it's inhabitants.
What can I say, I grew up in these places, I shouldn't forget my roots.
Hmm....maybe I should. Flint is not really anything to be proud of.

Leaving Matthew will be hard.
He's been my best friend for about 4 years now.
It's going to suck, but it's what I need.
He'll understand once I'm gone, that it's good for him as well.


Everything must come to an end....whether or not we accept it.

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I farted and I can't get up.

Jan. 13th, 2008 | 07:53 pm
mood: chipperchipper

FUCK!
I completely forgot about LiveJournal....

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(no subject)

Sep. 17th, 2007 | 02:52 pm
mood: creativecreative

I know what I am going to be for Halloween!!!!!
It's bloody brilliant....well...I like the idea.


Listen to this..

The Weed Fairy.


Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!
I love it.


Now I just have to find a party to go to....
:(

Yeah.....like I'll find a party to go to....I have no fucking friends.
Who am I kidding?

Well.
I do.
But.
Ya know.
I don't see them as much as I'd like to.
And half of the friends I used to have don't like me anymore anyway....and I'm not just making that up.
Things get around in the town of Flushing....
So fuck you then.

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